


Maybe?

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Asylum, Germancest, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:44:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8152750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gilbert Beilschmidt is a patient at an asylum, a mental illness haunts him through his remaining days as he tries to learn who he was and why he is there. After a sudden reunition with his brother, his new focus is to escape and regain himself. Warning: yaoi (boyXboy), mild language, incestDisclaimer: I own nothing but the story line





	1. Sample chapter

Gilbert let one of his eyes flutter open softly, where was he? Light shone brilliantly, yet softly through the thin, dainty, dark curtains that hung on the side of the wall gently flowing in the light breeze, almost as if they were dancing on the soft air that made its presence in the room. The room was small and quaint, there wasn't much to look at other then a small side table with a note, and an area with a few chairs. How long had he been here, and why was he here? He didn't remember anything from the day before, or anything from before at all... his name, that was Gilbert, right? A small voice that remained idle in his head snickered, he jumped, what was that? It wasn't his own thought, was it his own thought, no... it was more a twisted, dark, menacing thought. Meant to torment him, let him suffer in his own mind, in the guilt that may have not existed unless- What? He sat up grabbing his head and wincing, his eyes stung and his head swam in a dark, swirling manner. It stopped, he looked up jumping at what he saw, blood. Slowly, silently dripping down through the dark cracks in the wall, it dripped down onto his head and he looked up seeing the giant mass of flesh pulsing on the ceiling above him. His heart rate quickened with the condoling darkness... darkness? He didn't notice the strange addition to the twisted mindset running through his head. _Paranoia_. The dark red Crimson clouded his vision, his breathing picking up, unti-

"Oh! You jumped, I'm sorry did I scare you?..." A person said bursting through the heavy metal door,

"but showing any sign of emotion would be a good thing..." She then whispered under her breath as the room had flashed back to normal as if nothing had ever happened. _Calm_. That is what he felt as he relaxed, the girl walked over to him with a clipboard.

"Ok, it seems that the headmaster has prescribed a new medication for you, in other news we seem to have someone who could possibly be related to you! Do you remember anything before, the uh... Incident..." She then continued, Gilbert thought for a moment, did he remember anything? He shook his head, swinging his legs over the side of the bed in order to face the person better. She looked over at him with a bit of a sideways glance, he wanted to ask a question but...

"Is something wrong?" The woman asked drawing nearer only slightly, Gilbert nodded slowly looking down. _You can't tell her anything!_ a voice sneered in his head laughing hysterically. _Scared_. He looked back up, his pupils dilated slightly, and his vision blurred for a moment, his head pounded, thumping wildly against his skull. The woman was suddenly infront of him, she grabbed his face focusing his eyes on her's.

"Can you speak?" she asked keeping his attention focused on her, he shook his head no, he didn't think he could talk... Had he tried before? Maybe he had, maybe he had never been able to talk... The woman let go of him and sighed. _Calm, tired._ He yawned quietly, the other noticed smiling softly.

"You should sleep, we have you set up for a meeting later today," she said scribbling some nonsense down on a clipboard. He nodded slowly laying back again and sighing, _I'll bother you later_ , the voice said fading away, had that voice always been there? The door closed and the woman was gone, he almost felt like... he knew... her... _Asleep_.

 

_The breeze blew softly across his face, lips moving, but no sound. Faint piano music played in the background, he knew this music... From somewhere? He didn't remember, and it hurt to try. He focused back on the person, it wasn't him... Who was it? He had never seen the person before, or maybe he had. The person wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer, his lips moved again, he smiled. This person was more fimiliar then the woman from before, but who was he? His eyes blurred again, the person beside him became frantic, everything changed, it was dark and desolate. The ground was a dark muddy gray, the light around him was dull. He noticed something above him, the bloodied flesh was once again with him, but what was it? He slowly reached up to touch it, more blood stained his hand red, he almost had it-_

 

He jolted up, his breath came in gasps and sweat clung to his body. _Scared_. He tried to control his breathing, slowly calming himself down. _Calm_. He sat up, he was still in the same room, but what was with that dream? It could have possibly been a memory, but he couldn't quite tell. He looked over toward the wall, a crack? Yes a crack, a crack running down the wall, it hadn't been there before... He remembered that much, he noticed the note again, last time he hadn't had the chance to read it. He gently reached out and took the note, it was very short, and didn't seem to have much of a point but...

 

_Dear Gilbert Beilschmidt,_

_I would like to personally welcome you to the Rosemary asylum, you are here because of a recent incident. Do not fear though, we will take good care of you, we may be performing different forms of treatment over the course of your stay, no malfunctions will be permanent I assure you that._

_Sincerely,_

_Headmaster, Alfred F. Jones_

 

Malfunctions? He wondered what sorts of 'malfunctions' he meant by that, and so he was right when thinking his name was Gilbert. He hummed quietly placing the note back on the side table, he looked back over to the crack, then toward the door. The woman from before had mentioned something about a meeting, he might not have much time... He would check it out later. He stood up slowly, wobbling a bit, he hadn't walked in, possibly a long time. He smiled to himself regaining his balance. _Happy_. He looked back over at the crack in the wall, maybe... No, later, the door swung open again. _Startled_. He jumped slightly backing up and falling back onto the bed. It was the woman from before,

"Good you're awake!" She said happily, he looked up at her.

"If you'll follow me we can go and meet the person I was mentioning earlier," she then continued walking over to him. He stood up again, excited about meeting this person, what if it was someone he knew? What if he remembered something. The woman walked out of the room, he followed after her into a dark hallway, Gilbert looked around curiously. There were a few patients in the hallway, some were restrained by masks, and straight jackets, but others were just out in the open, no one was really tending to them, there were a few people around but for the most part the mass majority of them were left alone. The woman finally stopped at a doorway, unlocking it and motioning to him to follow her in. He walked into the room, it was very similar in most aspects, and the lady followed him in closing the door. The light in the room was faint, he looked over, there was a tall blond man over on the other side of the room. He looked up at the two, Gilbert's eyes widened, no it couldn't be... But it was, it was the same person from his dream. The other's cold ice-blue eyes gazed upon him, he almost felt as if they could see right through him.

"Do you know this person?" The woman asked him quietly, he nodded slowly. He did know this person, he knew he did, but who was it?


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gilbert goes adventuring, and gains an animal companion.

The person stood up, obviously in a state of shock. _Scared_. They knew each other, Gilbert knew, that they knew each other. Did either of them remember? Possibly. The soft light fluttered through the room like a newborn butterfly, uneasy and scared. Unsure of what to do or what it's purpose was. The person walked forward locking eyes with him,

"Now I would like to make you both aware that you do both hold strong signs of amnesia. We're not so sure to what extent but it could be severe. Either way, Gilbert this is Ludwig, Ludwig the same to you." The brunette nurse said carefully, observing the two. Gilbert was a bit unsure of what he could do, I mean... He hadn't figured out how to communicate exactly, and he didn't know if this 'Ludwig' knew how either. Gilbert shifted his weight awkwardly suddenly breaking their eye contact, he didn't know how to feel about, well, how this person made him feel.

"Can either of you talk?" The nurse then sighed realizing just about how hopeless this entire thing could be if they were both mute. The nurse was pretty right, how could two people unable to communicate formally meet each other... Gilbert shook his head as an answer to the question, but Ludwig didn't, he cleared his throat for a moment,

"I-I can talk..." He said hoarsely with a thick accent, Gilbert looked over a bit astonished, why could he talk, but Gilbert couldn't... Whatever this 'accident' was, from in the note, might have effected Gilbert more, but he couldn't be certain. Actually, no one could be certain because it seemed that no one remembered it.

"Okay, that's a good thing, Ludwig I'm sorry to tell you this but it seems Gilbert knows no means of communication..." The nurse then responded to the previous topic, Ludwig looked back over at Gilbert who replied with a nod.

"Thanks but... I kinda figured that one out on my own," Ludwig sighed locking eyes with Gilbert once again, "you're eyes are very pretty..." He then murmured looking intently at him, Gilbert smiled a little as a response.

"You two, do whatever that is, I'll be back in a minute with your lunch," the nurse then said leaving the room still a bit confused. Gilbert watched her leave before looking back over at Ludwig, he sighed, quietly murmuring something to himself about how the nurses were always bored by him, Ludwig then walked back over towards where his window was, there were bars over it, they were in some sort of asylum to the best of his knowledge, but other then that the outside was kinda boring. There wasn't really anything to see, he looked over at Ludwig who looked a bit sad, Gilbert's eyes widened... That look... _Paranoia_. No not again... The darkness curled around him, he panicked backing away and hitting a wall, suddenly it stopped.

 

_The music was back, all the darkness gone but... Where was he? He didn't remember falling asleep so maybe this wasn't a dream? He looked out the window, it was raining, he looked around spotting a hallway across the room, he walked down it cautiously looking around. All around him was a dark wooden material, it wasn't covered in blood, which was a good thing, but it was still confusing. Eventually he came to another room, there was a small blond child looking out a window, there were some toys around the room but none of them seemed to be to his interest._

_"Gilbert... I want to go outside..." The child said faintly, the other was barely able to hear him over the music. Gilbert walked over to him slowly, was this a dream? He looked... Sad..._

 

_Started_. He woke up to someone gently shaking him, it was the nurse, he looked around. Maybe he had just hit the wall and fell asleep? He didn't remember being tired though.

"What happened?" The nurse asked Ludwig seriously standing up,

"I don't quite know... He just started freaking out then kinda collapsed..." Ludwig said quietly very confused about the whole ordeal. Gilbert nodded slowly and carefully, yeah he was just tired. He knew though, that these flashes probably weren't just dreams, this was the second time he had seen that blond. Speaking of blonds, it seemed the one in his 'dreams' were a lot like the one in front of him now. It was highly probable, seeing as most of the workers and even himself were convinced that they knew each other.

"Gilbert do you want to go back to your room?" The nurse asked quietly as if she was trying not to startle him. _Calm_. He shook his head quickly trying to tell her he didn't want to leave no matter what.

"If you want to stay a bit longer you can, I'll have to stay also though seeing as you've been a bit shaken up today. Is that okay?" She then asked looked between him and Ludwig, Gilbert nodded, the other following suite. The nurse smiled softly, she didn't look particularly happy, it could have just been a habit or a job requirement though. This got Gilbert thinking if she even really liked it at the asylum, it seemed quite lonely and scary. Gilbert didn't even know where they were, he knew the basics but other then that he didn't know where his 'home' was or if he even had one.

"So um..." Ludwig started breaking Gilbert's train of thought, Gilbert looked over in response.

"I wanted to ask you a few things, it might be a bit difficult because they all have to be 'yes or no' questions but we can manage, right?" Gilbert nodded and the nurse patiently watched as Ludwig made his attempts to communicate.

"Do you remember anything?" Ludwig asked, Gilbert shook his head slowly, he didn't think he remembered anything at least. Ludwig nodded,

"I don't remember anything either, and no one here seems to know anything about what happened to the various patients around here... Either way," Ludwig murmured quietly, Gilbert nodded suddenly wondering if Ludwig had met any of the other patients in the asylum.

"Do you know why we know each other? That's a bit of a weird questions but it's like, I've known you for all my life I just can't remember... You seemed to know me though, but do you know why?" Ludwig then asked, Gilbert shrugged, he would like to have asked the same thing, for some reason it did feel like they knew each other, but apparently neither of them knew why.

"I can answer why the staff thinks you would know each other," the nurse suddenly said very matter of factly, Gilbert nodded slowly.

"We think you would know each other since you have the same last name, unfortunately we couldn't tell completely because Gilbert here, is albino. So we couldn't really base anything off looks," she then continued. Albino? Gilbert thought to himself, he knew what it meant but he hadn't seen himself so he wouldn't have known that he was albino.

"Hmm, that is quite interesting maybe we are bothers or something?" Ludwig then said thinking to himself for a moment. Gilbert thought of the plusses to them being brothers, then he though if the plusses to them being marri- no, they couldn't be, could they? He shook off that thought, Ludwig looked over at the 'more then usually quiet and unmoving Gilbert', he looked concerned as the other continued his thoughts. Gilbert paused for a moment looking over at Ludwig.

"What are you thinking about?" Ludwig asked tilting his head to the side almost dog-like. Gilbert blushed lightly, fidgeting with his hands and suddenly looking down,

"fine, it's not like you really could have told me anyway..." Ludwig signed dismissing the entire conversation. The nurse giggled from across the room, obviously very amused by the two's antics.

"Hm, it seems like it's about time for you to go Gilbert, it's getting late," the nurse said checking her wrist watch, Gilbert looked up noticeably pouting. He glanced back over at Ludwig one last time before following after the nurse and going back to his room.

_Aren't you forgetting something, my little puppet? There is something important you seem to have completely missed. Too far into your lovey-dovey antics..._  
What don't believe me? I'm part of you I know how you feel whether you like it or not, I know you on a new level. One that even you yourself do not understand. I'm your conscious, remember that my puppet.  
I remember...

_Started_. Gilbert awoke once again, he was back on his bed, in his room, like he was before. Had everything been a dream? He didn't think so, it all seemed so clear. It couldn't have been a dream he could have never accepted that as a dream. Well for the most part. The voice had returned, it was the same one from before, from the very beginning. It said it was his conscious? It also said something about remembering, maybe if it would talk to him some more, or if he could ask it some questions... Alas that seemed a bit too hopeful, and it probably was. _Calm_. But the very beginning of the small 'speech' his 'conscious' had given him bugged him,

'Aren't you forgetting something?' That one part, he couldn't stop thinking about it, what was he forgetting? Well besides the obvious... He thought about it for a second, glancing around the room, wait... His eyes fell across the large crack in the wall, what was this? A joke? Surely the nurse would have noticed this when she was in the room... Was it even there? He got up, slowly walking over towards the crack, glancing back at the door every few seconds. The nurse could come through the door any moment, and it always seemed that she showed up when he didn't want her to. He didn't even know how long he had been asleep to get an estimate on how long it would be before she would come back to check on him again.  
He was before the wall now, the crack had yet to fade away or dissipate. Strange, so maybe it was there. _Curious_. He slowly extended his arm, he touched it, and it stayed. The wall was very crumbly and quite rotten there, overall about to fall apart, which was exactly what he wanted it to do. He smiled, a wicked small smile. This crack could lead anywhere, he hadn't been allowed to freely move around the asylum yet so this was a silver lined opportunity. He looked back over the door momentarily before pushing the wall in to make a bigger hole. Once it was big enough to squeeze through he did. It was dark, light spilled through the crack softly, but he could still barely see. Surprisingly the middle of the walls was pretty spacious, maybe it was to block out sound between the isolated rooms. He didn't quite know though.   
Gilbert continued walking through the in between area of the walls, the wood and drywall scratched his arms and legs, but he didn't really care. Eventually he found an air duct, it was pretty wide, he was afraid to go past it because of the large metal fan, so he was forced to go through. He climbed through the metal works, it went at a slow incline. There were cameras in there he later noticed... Camera's? _Scared_. Were they watching him? What was his whole thing, maybe it was some sort of test... Or maybe they knew he would try to escape, anyone for that matter and now they knew he was there. _Frantic_. He crawled faster, when he found a camera he snapped it from its cord. He started doing this at an angle so that the camera didn't even see him. They couldn't track him as easily that way. Even so they might have noticed a pattern, so every once and a while he would go down other paths just to snap cameras for a little what then backtrack. He soon began leaving marks in the metal from where he had gone. Eventually he reached a large grate, he checked to make sure there were no cameras around before carefully peeking through the metal slants. A large metal fan whirled above his head, so he was careful not to make any sudden movements. Below him was a large library, he looked around the best he could noticing that no one was there. He contemplated going down there to see if he could find anything. He didn't know whether it would be safe or not, he thought for another moment. _Curious_. He noticed how loose the screws holding the grate on were. This was a bit odd... Making it seem to be too planned. He no longer cared as his curiosity got that best of him, Gilbert carefully completely unscrewed the grate. He pushed it off to the side making as little noise as possible, he then carefully jumped down avoiding the fan. The only issue would be getting back up. He walked over to the door, carefully turning the knob to see if it was locked. It was. He didn't know whether to be relieved of scared. This mean he couldn't get out, but it also gave him more time to hide if someone were to come in, they would have to unlock the door and with the way his nurse was they were not at all quiet with doors. _Calm_. He looked around the room, noticing a note carefully placed on the table,

_'Dear patients,  
As the headmaster I would like to request for you to only read the red books. The blue books may trigger memories and that can be very painful, for those who are not instructed to read a blue book please stay away. We fear recession or relapse as a consequence of reading a book that you are not allowed or instructed to you. For your own safety please follow these rules._

__  
Sincerely,  
Headmaster, Alfred F. Jones'

Gilbert noticed the large collection of blue binded books on one of the shelves. _Curious_. He walked over to them, skimming over the titles. One of them caught his attention, it was title 'the little boy's brother', how strange. He didn't want to read it there risk of getting caught... Thoigh he took it with home regardlessly.

Now he needed to leave... Where was he to go? Gilbert looked through the room, a step stool that was used for getting books on higher shelves was neatly placed on the side of the room. He quietly carried it over the the hole in the ceiling, it might be noticeable by where it was placed what the intentions were. They probably already knew he was sneaking around though so it wouldn't matter anyway. They might be looking for him, he didn't quite know.  
He stepped up onto the stool, still only barely able the reach the edge of the metal works. He carefully placed the book on the side he had come from, then, as quietly as he could, pulled himself into the ducts. The fan was being a bother and he carefully avoided it, though it did tear through part of the back of his shirt. It left a few light scrapes along his shoulder blades. They didn't bleed though, it was still painful enough to cause him to choke back a sob. _Scared_. This reminded him of something, he fought back the dizziness, the urge to sleep, the swimming black dots in his vision. He carefully placed the grate back screwing it back into place as best as he could. He picked up the book and trekked onward, the side effects went away slowly. _Calm, determined_. He continued, keeping the book awkwardly between his shoulders blades, it put pressure on the scratches and soothed them it its strange coolness and also made it easier to move around, he just had to be sure he didn't drop it or loose it.   
Eventually he got to another grate, he didn't know how long it had been, if his nurse had checked on him, or anything else that was going on outside of the ceiling. This left him wondering if he should even check this grate, he was done being curious... But... When would he get the chance to go back here? He bit his lip lightly and took the book from under what was remaining of the back of his shirt. He set it off towards the direction that he had come from. This was the last one, the last one he would check. Gilbert laid down against the cool metal so he wouldn't fall and cause any noise if he was looking for too long. He continued and quietly peeked through the grate. There was someone down there, a man, he was tall and well-built. He did have a large scarf on over his work clothes which was peculiar. Gilbert observed the man, he seemed to be in some sort of lab, maybe he was a doctor? Or something of the sort, he could have just been one of the nurses however. Gilbert watched as the man sorted through a large filing case, muttering to himself all the while, he picked up a file, the name read 'Matthew Williams' across the top in all bold. The name sounded familiar, as did every other name so far. But Gilbert didn't quite know why. He watched the person flip through the file before finally getting to a paper that had caught both the nurse and Gilbert's attention. Gilbert didn't quite know why, it seemed to be a page on treatment, and previous treatments, though Gilbert couldn't quite make out the words. He watched the man write down something in what appeared to be a 'results' column on the side of the page. Loopy cursive handwriting fell across the paper in a language not understandable to Gilbert. He had noticed the accents in everyone he met, they varied as it seemed, this mans being quite strange compared to all the others. He spoke some words in some language, Gilbert once again didn't understand. He began to get quite frustrated with all of this, but kept watching. Eventually the man put away that file and pulled out a new one, it was Gilbert's, his eyes widened as the person got to the treatment list. It was long, very long. He didn't even remember any of it, he couldn't read what had happened to him either. _Scared_. The man added something to the 'treatment' column, a new treatment? What for? Was he currently being treated? He couldn't make out anything else. A tear rolled down his face, he hadn't even noticed he was crying. The tear eventually fell from his face and landed on he man below him, very unfortunately. He quickly pulled back as the man looked up the grate, he covered his mouth quickly and tried to calm his breath.

"Damn things' leaking again," the man grunted from below, Gilbert held his breathing and didn't move. He waited, seconds feeling like hours, nothing happens below, no noise, nothing. He quietly peeked over the edge again noticing the man had completely left room. Strange, Gilbert didn't even hear him leave... He silently sighed anyway, feeling like the danger was over. The truth was it was far from over, he heard a noise from down the duct in front of him, were they looking for him? A squeal rung out against the silence, it was harsh and high pitched, inhuman. A loud scuttling followed and a strange thing emerged from the shadows. It was strange, he didn't recognise it, though he didn't believe he would be able to recognise any animals anyway. It limped closer to him, a tag hung from its dark colored ear, it read 'experiment 17-g', he didn't know what that meant so he ignored it for the moment. The thing didn't hesitate as it went up to him, stitches ran along its back, maybe it's spine had been altered in some way? Blood ran from one of its legs as it limped along, Gilbert noticed two feathered wings that lay folded against the things sides. Gilbert stroked its pelt softly, it had a short fluffy tail, and small ears and face. It was fluffy and very soft overall, but quite strange. When was anything not strange here though? He teared part of his shirt and slowly wrapped it on the wound of its leg. It looked like some sort of gash, now that he had a better look at it, it was covered with scars. He didn't even bother to observe them though and began to make his way back to his book. He tucked the strange animal in the front of his shirt and let it curl up against his chest, he gave it the book as well, it seemed to be very fond of things to wrap itself around, which was very convenient for Gilbert. He made his way back to his room, eventually making it back to the wall. He carefully climbed along it, now carrying the animal and made it back to the hole. He looked around his room, no one was there, he stepped back into his room, first putting the book under his bed. Then he carefully unwrapped the animal's leg and rewrapped it once again neatly. He laid the now fairly calm animal on the bed gently. _Calm_. He felt more relaxed now that he wasn't in immediate danger, the door burst open causing him to jump, the nurse burst into the room.

"Hey are you asleep? Woah what happened to you!" The nurse exclaimed noticing his frazzled appearance, he moved in front of the bed blocking the animal from the nurse's view, it had woken up from all the noise and seemed a bit confused. _Scared_.

  
"Either way we have to get you fixed up," she then said before moving closer to him and attempting to remove his shirt,

  
"Don't be stubborn! It'll only be for a moment, those scratches should heal on their own soon so I won't have to worry about those," she then explained, the animal mewed its protest at the closeness of the nurse to her new master. The nurse looked behind him noticing the small fluffy creature,

  
"17-g? What is that thing doing in here? Did it escape again?" She then sighed looking over at it. She moved to it, Gilbert then stepped in front of her, desperately shaking his head. She backed away, observing the situation.

  
"Okay, she can stay, she was a failed experiment anyway, I won't tell anyone, if this helps you get better then I'll do anything." She then sighed moving away from Gilbert.

  
"I'll be right back," she then said leaving the room, Gilbert walked back over toward the animal, he picked it up and held the animal against his chest. _Calm_. Just having something living there with him calmed him. Despite not knowing what it was he had grown quite fond of the animal. The nurse came back later with a change of clothes, and some medication as well as food for the animal, after some thinking Gilbert decided to name her 'Gemna', he wanted to name her something beginning with a G like her experimental name and that was all he could think of. The nurse left for the night, telling Gilbert and Gemna that she would return in the morning, and they could visit Ludwig if Gilbert wanted to. Gilbert just nodded as he was beginning to feel very tired. Eventually Gilbert fell asleep, cuddling the small animal, and waiting for tomorrow to come.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awkward transition chapter is awkward. Idk what Gemna is exactly, and idk where I got her name either. Though she is a mutaliated form of exotic animal, there is a reason for that as well.   
> It starts to get better once everything is introduced bare with me till like chapter 2-3
> 
> The suspense levels are SO low I can't write suspense sorry...


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ludwig learns some things, and Gilbert gets bitten.

The next day had finally arrived, Gilbert was a bit uncertain about how he felt about that. The nurse had done what she usually did, bringing him food and a change of clothes in the morning, some strange sort of medicine had also been added to the routine. He was a bit suspicious about it, based off what he had learned the day before, but was urged to take it to such an extent he caved in, so far the day hadn't been all too bad. Along with the usual stuff the nurse had brought some things for Gemna, despite neither of them really knowing what she was, she seemed to take a liking to meat and various sweet things. She left Gilbert, promising that she would take him to see Ludwig after she recorded some 'important data'. Gilbert was pretty sure that had something to do with medicine but he thought little of it.    
He waited for a while, then boredom settled in and he began to play with Gemna. She was very excitable and full of energy, though at the same time quite dumb. Funny how she reminded him of something... He couldn't quite put his finger on it, and the more he thought about it the more saddened he felt. It must have been something important from before. He shrugged it off thinking about other things, like the hole in the wall, and the book. He looked over at where the hole had been, it was still there surprisingly, he didn't think it had been a figment of his imagination before, but he was starting to question himself. Gilbert drew his attention back over to Gemna, who was seemingly messing with her wings nervously. He hadn't thought about her appearance much since he had first seen her. He drew closer, mostly examining her spine, there were definitely stitches running along it, he wondered why. _Curious_. He took one of her wings, carefully extending it, it was pretty big she probably had a wingspan total of around 90 inches. He didn't know if that was normal for an animal of her species, he didn't really know anything about her to tell the truth. Gemna eventually got tired of him messing with her and grabbed his hand in her teeth. Gilbert winced slightly keeping his hand still, Gemna didn't seem to want to let go though. His head hurt all of the sudden, was he remembering something? Gemna let go of him confused, Gilbert's pulse beat rapidly against his skull, no not again...   
  
__ Gilbert looked around, he was in the same room from before, this time he couldn't control his actions. It seemed he was stuck in his own memory, the little boy was in front of him, there was no music this time and he could hear clearly.    
"Gilbert it hurts..." The little boy whined from in front of him,   
"It's okay, it'll heal soon," a voice said, wait... Was that his own voice? The little boy nodded and he watched as, like he had said, the bite mark started to heal. It took a minute or too until it was completely okay and the little boy flexed it in front of his own face to make sure it worked.    
This was insane, people didn't work like that... At least he didn't think they worked like that. His head pounded, and he noticed the slow piano music, it quickly started to increase volume,    
"So that's how nati-" came the little boy in a drowned out voice before he could no longer hear him. Red engulfed his vision...   
  
Gemna was staring at him, she seemed very confused Gilbert patted her head softly looking down at his hand as he did so. Funny, he thought that bite would leave a mark... He shrugged it off as just a coincidence and continued playing with the small disfigured animal for a while till she fell asleep. He smiled softly at the slumbering form as her chest rose and fell... It was like the waves of an ocean gently lapping at the shore in a slow rhythm. Back and forth, back and forth, until he found his own breathing matching that of the creature's as he nodded off slowly into the sea of dreams, funny? He had never seen an ocean...   
  
•   
  
Ludwig sighed in frustration, he wasn't allowed to do anything. People were constantly keeping watch over him and taking notes, he couldn't quite figure out why however, and that annoyed him especially. He thought about Gilbert some throughout the day, mostly about his curious hair, he seemed to remember it always being that way but her couldn't remember why. Hell, he couldn't remember anything. He paces around nervously, constantly running a hand through his hair, or biting at his nails. He wanted to see Gilbert again, but... His nurse said he wasn't allowed to right now, figured.    
  
"Ludwig the director has made a decision, as you seem a bit... Finicky, he's decided to let you socialize with the other patients until we diagnose you." She said calmly from the doorway, he perked up immediately turning his head towards her,   
  
"Really? No gimmicks?" He questioned raising an eyebrow,   
  
"No we're not trying to trick you again," she sighed. He walked over toward the door and allowed himself the be led out into the main hallway. It was fairly dark, small groups of people were out and about whispering, some were curled up in balls on the floor shaking and convulsing, but he wasn't one to judge. Eventually she left him on his own, completely unsupervised.   
  
"Alright, we're going to find out what's going on," he murmured to himself before carefully choosing a group of people to approach.   
  
"Brother there's a scary tall person!" An accented voice whispered nearby, he spotted a small group in the corner covered by shadows. That was probably his best shot, at least they acknowledged his existence. He walked over,   
  
"Brother he's coming over here I'm scared!" The voice whispered frantically, "I know idiot I have eyes..." another similar voice whispered back. He eventually reached the dark corner,   
  
"Um, hi... I'm Ludwig," he introduced himself quietly, lots of shifting could be heard, and a small 'eep'-ish noise, as almost a late reaction.   
  
"Fuck off" one of the voices said, quite loudly, it was the second voice from before,   
  
"Brother don't be mean, maybe he's nice..." the first voice responded, Ludwig neared closing sitting down in front of the group,   
  
"Hello, I'm Kiku" a third voice said, slightly dazed sounding, as if this person wasn't really in the room with them, yet in his own world.    
  
"You're not supposed to just introduce yourself! What if he's... not nice?" The first voice whispered urgently. Ludwig shrugged for a moment thinking about how conflicting the first voice’s statements were starting to become.     
  
"Feli stop squeezing my arm you're cutting off the circulation..." the second voice said with a slight wince, before an apology was murmured from the supposed 'Feli'. Ludwig sighed, not exactly pleased with his progress,   
  
"Do any of you know what's going on here?" He asked quietly, he didn't want to rouse suspicion after managing to actually get in the hallway.    
  
"Not the faintest, I woke up here without any memory, and was soon introduced to my supposed sibling." The second voice chimed in quietly, "You can call me Lovino..." he then added almost too quietly to be heard. Ludwig nodded,   
  
"About the same thing happened to me, though they're not even sure if we're related..." Ludwig then sighed scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.   
  
"You people are lucky, I still don't know anything about my relations to any other patients... though Alfred is quite nice..." Kiku added to the conversation. Wait... Alfred?   
  
"Have you met this 'Alfred'?" Ludwig asked curiously,   
  
"Oh yes, plenty of times. I don't think he knows this but... I'm often awake when he checks on me at night, he usually runs over some sort of apology conversation a couple of times before getting frustrated and leaving... sometimes he'll run his hands through my hair, and once I even thought he was crying. Though... I'm not too sure anymore..." Kiku murmured quietly, he seemed a bit, sad, maybe...    
"I don't like to think about it too much... it makes my head hurt..." he then added after a moment. Ludwig nodded,   
  
"When I think about my brother too much, or try to remember anything my head hurts as well. Though I can't figure out quite why..." Ludwig said, before looking toward the ground. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine what Gilbert might be doing at the moment, though he hadn't the faintest...   
  
"You guys said you couldn't remember anything, right?" Ludwig then said, Lovino hummed an agreement, "I noticed something earlier this week as well, are they making you take these... pills?" He added a bit unsure of what the substance even was.   
  
"Everyone we've talked to has said they've been forced into taking those, though I don't quite know why." Feli responded, "how important could they be?" He then added unconsciously.   
  
"Except me," Kiki butted in,    
  
"Oh yeah, Kiku doesn't have to take them! He seems to be the only one too, and call me Feliciano" The other said,    
  
"Another thing I noticed is it seems only me and Feli get to share a room," Lovino said quietly and almost sarcastically.    
  
"You guys get to share a room?" Ludwig asked a bit bewildered.   
  
"Yeah, they don't seem to mind us sharing a room for some reason. They told us we're twins, which could contribute to the reason, but I'm not too sure." Feliciano chimed in.   
  
"Could you all come out of the shadows for a minute I'd like to see what you look like," Ludwig said changing the subject, though he was a bit curious.    
The small group did so, Lovino and Feliciano did look strikingly similar, but that wasn't what surprised him the most.   
  
"Kiku..." Ludwig said quietly a bit confused and definitely in shock,   
  
"Is something wrong?" Kiku responded. Ludwig swallowed nervously.   
  
•   
  
Gilbert woke again, only partially remembering falling asleep in the first place. He yawned uneasily, gently rubbing at his eyes, the small creature beside him rousing in his wake. He looked around the room. _Shocked._ The nurse was across the room in one of the chairs.    
"You sleep like a puppy," she mused giggling slightly as Gilbert flushed red. "I've already contacted the nurse tending to Ludwig and told her to gather him, evidently he's been allowed outside. She doesn't know about 17-g however... So we'll have to hide her in here or take her with us..." she then followed up with. Gilbert tightly clutched the small creature in his arms in response and she sighed.   
"With us it is then..." she said under her breath. _Calm._ Gilbert relaxed his arms and let the creature back on the floor, the nurse got up stretching a little then walked over to the door.    
"Wish for the best with hiding that thing, it's your responsibly," she chimed almost cheerfully before opening the door. Gilbert looked over at Gemna and shrugged, he started walking toward the door and she followed.    
Gilbert peered out into the hallway curiously for a moment, addressing how he would sneak Gemna with him, if he had left her she risked being found in his room, or would develop separation anxiety, so he decided that she would be coming with him. He scooped up the creature into his arms, she shot a confused look at him but rested on cuddling into his chest and napping. He followed the nurse out the door and through the hallway, luckily there weren't many people out and they didn't seem to be paying much attention to him. He followed carefully after the nurse who appeared to be humming to herself quietly, eventually they reached Ludwig's room. _Happy_. He followed the nurse into the room, Ludwig was sitting in the chair looking absentmindedly out the window, he hadn't seemed to have noticed Gilbert yet. _Mischievous_. He then thought up the most ingenious plan, Gilbert carefully walked over to Ludwig after gently sitting down Gemna. He covered Ludwig's eyes with his hands smirking to himself. Ludwig chuckled slightly,   


"Gilbert, I know it's you~" he sighed happily, Gilbert took his hands off the other’s face, and moved them to his shoulder. Ludwig turned around looking into Gilbert’s eyes momentarily before his attention was drawn somewhere else.

“Gil? What's that?” Ludwig said motioning slightly towards Gemna who was now curled up on the bed. Gilbert took his hands over and walked over to Gemna, he scratched gently behind the small creature’s ear, she poked her head up slightly leaning into the soft scratches. Gilbert picked Gemna up, carefully avoiding her wings, he brought her over to Ludwig and presented her to him by setting her in his lap. Ludwig watched carefully as the small creature decided on curling back up and going to sleep, he nervously eyed the stitches that ran along her body, before reaching out his hand to pet her,

“It's really soft…” he commented absentmindedly, Gilbert only nodded in agreement. Funny how it seemed to remind him of something… Though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Ludwig eventually decided to set the small creature on the ground, which she seemed perfectly fine with for the most part. 

“So, I learned some things about the asylum, and I wondered if you would be interested?” Ludwig started, Gilbert’s eyes widened and he nodded furiously. 

“Okay well for starters no one remembers anything about their life before they got here, but that was kinda obvious. I did meet someone kind of interesting however…” he then continued, Gilbert nodded slowly as if to say ‘interesting how?’

“Well he’s met Alfred…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which length do you like better? The amount of words from last chapter, or the amount from this chapter?


	4. Chapter 3

 Gilbert was stunned, barely even breathing. _Uneasy_. Meeting Alfred? How could someone do that? Ludwig shifted awkwardly, catching Gilbert's attention once again. The back of his mind stung with a force so powerful it almost gave him the need to double over in pain, though on the outside he was as unmoving as a statue, barely aware of what was going on. He knew Alfred, he knew he did... Alfred was someone from his past, strongly in his past he could feel it. He could feel that almost as much as he could feel the connection between him and Ludwig. He flinched, taking hold of Ludwig's forearm.

"Gilbert? Are you okay you don't look too good?" Ludwig murmured as Gilbert sunk to the floor. His thoughts whispered to him gently. Kill them all, a very prominent voice in his head cut in. He raised his head to look into Ludwig's eyes. "Y-you're crying..." Ludwig murmured, moving to sit down next to him on the floor. Gilbert hadn't realized he had begun to cry. _Calm_. He continued to stare into Ludwig's blue eyes, feeling a sense of melancholy cover him. His breathing slowed back down, though he didn't remembered it getting that fast. He held his head with one of his hands,

"Gilbert can you please let go of my arm, you're nails are digging into it quite painfully." Ludwig murmured, snapping Gilbert back into reality and out of his own thoughts. He released his grip, letting both his hands fall into his lap. There was blood under his nails... He reached back over to Ludwig's arm, picking it up gently, and observing the crescent shaped indentions his nails had left in the other's skin.

"It's okay... it'll heal." Ludwig murmured, Gilbert remembered the flashback that happened earlier that day, it was sort of strange how similar Ludwig and that young boy were. He didn't ponder on it too much, for that made his head hurt. He let Ludwig's arm fall back, and sat silently, looking down at his lap and occasionally rubbing the tears out of his eyes. Ludwig sighed,

"I can only assume you're on medication like everyone else here, some sort of pill... I think this pill is messing with everyone's head. If you're having any weird thoughts... just ignore them. I've noticed them too." He whispered quietly, Gilbert raised his head again, nodding slightly. He wanted to say so many things about the things he'd been seeing, but if they were all fake... they didn't matter anymore. The only thing that truly mattered was the present, the moment going on right then, where he was there with Ludwig and no one else was around. Gilbert huffed, his fingers fidgeting with each other, Ludwig blinked awkwardly. If either of them were to have any chance of finding out what was going on in the asylum they'd have to break the rules, he knew that much. Though with the events of the past few days he supposed he had already broken quite a few of them, he thought about the book from before. Maybe on a day he was less emotional he'd try reading it, though the warning made him a bit unsure of that, maybe bringing the book to his room was a bad idea. He hadn't even checked if it was still there, the nurse could have taken it away while he was gone or asleep and he wouldn't have known. Ludwig noticed how unmoving the other was again, and reached out to him, twining their fingers together.

"Hey, it's okay. I know you can't really communicate, that's fine though, we'll find a way to work through this. Besides..." Ludwig said, he trailed off, murmuring something indistinguishable under his breath. Gilbert cocked his head to the side. _Confused_. If Ludwig was going to say something to him why wouldn't he say it loud enough for him to hear? This puzzled him greatly, it might have been important. Instead of wondering about it he decided to trace patterns on Ludwig's hands. _Calm_. Idle things seemed to help his nerves, which had been worse today. Gemna had curled up next to him on the floor, he noticed she had at some point taken the cloth he had tied on her leg off. He didn't quite know if this was a problem, but the wound seemed to have healed.

"I've been thinking," Ludwig suddenly said cutting into Gilbert's thoughts again. "I want to help you. I want to help you get better..." he then continued, seeming quite flustered.

"It's not like anything is wrong, you're perfect the way you are but..." Gilbert held a finger against the other's lips, silencing him. Tears threatened to spill over his face again, he nodded, understanding completely what Ludwig meant. He wanted to get better too... but he didn't know how. Ludwig sighed, taking both of Gilbert's hands into his.

"I just wish I knew how to help, at this rate we'll be stuck here forever." Ludwig whispered, Gilbert nodded again.

 

After their meet up Gilbert was sent back to his room, where he was forced to take the medication again. The nurse soon left him alone and he laid down, continuously reminding himself that what he was seeing, and hearing, didn't matter. Gemna had taken residence on part of his pillow, and was happily napping. Gilbert smiled softly at the animal, of whom was probably one of the best things that had ever happened to him, besides meeting Ludwig. _Tired_. Maybe it was the medicine talking, or just his own conscious need for more sleep, which he didn't even feel like he was being deprived of, but an afternoon nap didn't seem like such a bad idea anymore. _Asleep_.

 

 _Towering buildings of rubble were surrounding him, the wind whistling harshly in his ears and the stench of blood filling his senses. He gagged slightly, unprepared for such a change, where was he anyway? The surrounding area was very dark and dusty, almost like a ghost town. It looked almost like what he thought the end of the world would look like. He sat up, a sharp pain shooting through his chest, causing blood to spill from his throat and into his mouth, the foul taste polluting his tongue. He swallowed, noticeably shuttering at the feeling. Gilbert had just gotten there, he couldn't be sick already. He pushed his body up again, his muscles aching from either a lack of use, or some sort of injury. One of his arms was fairly normal looking, the other was quite strange. His sleeve had been torn near his shoulder and the entirety of that arm was exposed. It was a lot skinnier, and had very little muscle in it. That didn't make sense to him, one of his arms was fine, but the other looked like it had tried to regrow itself and didn't do the job right. He noticed his attire was a mostly blue almost military-esque uniform. It was stained in blood around his mid-abdomen, and overall not in good shape. He finally managed to stand, brushing debris off of himself lazily with his functioning arm, as the other one didn't seem to work at all. A slow, but steady trail of blood ran down his abdomen, which didn't seem to be a good sign. He surveyed his surroundings, noticing a large quantity of mangled bodies scattered about. They were in such bad shape some of them might not even have been human, there was no way to tell. He walked forward a little bit, every move he made stinging his senses harshly, it was a very slow journey to say the least. Eventually he reached what appeared to be the front of a building he was in, there was blood everywhere, it made a squelching noise when he touched it with his boot, making him feel sick. It didn't seem to be just blood, there appeared to be bits of flattened flesh mixed in with the mess. It twisted slightly when he touched it, wrenching forward and grabbing his ankle with its mass. It didn't even have limbs, it didn't appear to have anything that resembled human features; but it moved anyway and reeked of decay. Gilbert grimaced and kicked it off of him, it didn't appear to like that and reached tiny tendrils out to him. Pushing through the fabric on his legs and invading his skin, he screamed silently. The foreign flesh invading his legs, he couldn't feel it anymore. It ripped through the muscles in his leg, tearing them apart in an effort to squirm through his flesh. Which was writhing as the bloodied mass pushed itself into him. It crawled through his entire body, slowing taking control, Gilbert couldn't feel it anymore, and only realized he wasn't going to make it when it pushed into his eyes and he could no longer see. Silence rang through his ears, piercing his body with pain. The last thing he felt was his body being torn apart in an instant. Surely to join the rest of the mangled field of bodies_.

 

 _Awake, calm_ , He awoke strangely calm, as if something was finally put into place. Where he was in the dream... he was almost certain these weren't dreams anymore, and the outside world might be as bad as what his conscious was telling him it was. _Paranoid_. Then again something didn't feel right. The strange laughter came back, burning into his brain, as the back of his eyes stung harshly, forcing them shut.

_This is only the beginning, you know nothing._

It sneered quietly, its laugh reverberating around his skull. Then it stopped in an instant, he had made up his mind. He was going to read the book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops I totally forgot to post this, sorry. I might not be continuing this series anymore... if I do the updates will be slow, im just not in the APH fandom anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> The italics are Gilbert's emotions, you'll later learn why I'm doing this, it's all for a reason.
> 
> This is just an epilogue, real chapters are going to be a lot longer. Also I'm a SUPER slow writer sorry about that...


End file.
